That’s when vanlife came into the picture.
Breaking Free from the Four Walls
Choosing to live in a van wasn’t some romanticised escape for me—it was survival. The open road, remote landscapes, and the peace of nature became a lifeline. Being constantly on the move let me leave behind the suffocating routine of anxiety. Just parking my van in a quiet, remote spot felt like a release. It's not that I was running away—if anything, I was finally confronting the chaos in my head, but on my own terms.
For anyone struggling with their mental health, the idea of living untethered from the comfort of a home might seem terrifying. But for me, the van became my safe space, a home I could take anywhere. Instead of shutting the world out, I was opening myself up to it—at my own pace.
The Healing Power of Solitude
Before vanlife, the noise in my mind was relentless. Auditory hallucinations are part of my experience with BPD, and being in crowded places or busy cities only made it worse. But parked up somewhere remote, with just me, my partner Tash, and Biggie, our cat, the silence was a kind of medicine. Out there, with nothing but the wind and the occasional crackle of the fire, I could actually breathe. No pressure, no expectations—just me and the road.
Of course, solitude forces you to face yourself. It’s not always easy. I had to get comfortable with my thoughts, my fears, and the raw reality of my mental health. Some nights, the anxiety still crept in, even in the middle of nowhere. But those moments were different. Out there, I had space to process them instead of being overwhelmed.
Nature’s Role in Reconnection
Living on the road isn’t just about leaving the daily grind behind—it’s about reconnecting. Not just with yourself, but with the world around you. Nature has this grounding effect. The open skies, rolling landscapes, and the sounds of the outdoors—it puts things into perspective. On tough days, when my BPD was particularly full on, I’d take a walk along a trail or watch the mist lift over the hills from the van. There’s a simplicity to vanlife that cuts through all the noise, the pressures of life.
Vanlife showed me that it’s okay not to have all the answers. There’s no end destination, no rush to get anywhere—just the journey, and that’s more than enough sometimes.
The Challenges of Living with Mental Health on the Road
Let’s be real—it’s not always easy. Living in a van with PTSD and BPD throws its own challenges into the mix. Some days, the anxiety ramps up, and even the freedom of the open road feels like too much. Being in remote locations can sometimes stir up feelings of isolation. But I’ve found little routines that help. Simple things like making a brew in the morning, writing in a journal, or just sitting and breathing for a bit.
Tash has been my rock through it all. After 11 years together, she knows when to step back and when to step in. And Biggie’s always there, just keeping things steady with her presence. Having them with me on this journey makes it feel like a team effort—we’re in this together.
So again, Why Vanlife? (This one will come up a lot)
At the end of the day, vanlife gave me something I didn’t even realise I needed—freedom. Not just the freedom to travel wherever, but freedom from the invisible walls I’d been living behind for years. Every day on the road is an opportunity to see something new, to move at my own pace, and to reconnect with who I am, beyond the labels of anxiety, PTSD, or BPD.
Vanlife isn’t a cure. My mental health is still something I live with, and I’ve come to accept that. But the life I’m living now gives me the space to manage it, to get through the tough days, and to fully embrace the calm and clarity that comes from being out there in the world.
If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own mind, there are ways to break free—even if it’s something a bit unconventional. For me, it was a van and the open road. For you, it could be something else entirely. The key is to keep moving, even if it’s at your own pace.
